AKSARBENT has learned secondhand that the perp evidently did not get away with its politically-motivated terrorism and intimidation unscathed, as it is moping around listlessly and now refuses to go outside. One report also alleges a severe case of perp diarrhea, which shall remain unconfirmed.
Calico is grounded for the duration of her cat penicillin pills regimen and likely will now be permanently restricted to supervised leash outings, which we will probably NEVER hear the end of.
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