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| Fri Sep 28, 2012 | www.theonion.com |
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|  D.C. Residents Can Remember Exactly Who They Were Murdering When Nationals Clinched First Ever Playoff Berth 09.28.12 WASHINGTON—One week after watching the Washington Nationals clinch their first-ever playoff berth, local fans told reporters Thursday that they would never forget exactly where they were and who they were murdering on the night their team beat the D... | | | News in Brief » | | Guy In Suit Handling Newspaper Like A Pro | | | American Voices » |
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| California Legalizes Self-Driving Cars "I'm too excited about the next big step: the passengerless car." | | | opinion » |
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| My Ex-Girlfriend Must Be Getting Pretty Desperate To Keep Answering All Of My Calls by Andrew Miller By Andrew Miller | | | Radio News » |
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| Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands |
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Dear The Onion, Yesterday I had a good idea for an article you could do, but I forgot to write it down and now it's slipped my mind. So I just wanted to say sorry about that.— Susan Kolb, Robertsville, MO | | | Most Popular » |
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